Quotes About Completing Goals Funny Quotes

Inspirational quotes can be extremely motivating. They can also be a bit tooserious.

So to keep things light, here are some of the bestfunny inspirational quotes about life, wisdom and success. Because life is supposed to be fun:

Funny Inspirational Quotes:

1.

"Hope for the Best. Expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed."Mel Brooks

2.

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing; that's why we recommend it daily."Zig Ziglar

3.

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."Elbert Hubbard

4.

"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."Lily Tomlin

5.

"Here is a test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished – If you're alive, it isn't."Richard Bach

6.

"When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'."Groucho Marx

7.

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."Steven Wright

8.

"Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's more like a cha-cha."Robert Brault

9.

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."Mark Twain

10.

"You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred."Woody Allen

11.

"There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through…There needs to be a monster truck option."Jeph Jacques

12.

"When something goes wrong in your life just yell 'PLOT TWIST' and move on".Molly Weis

13.

"I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book."Groucho Marx

14.

"The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept."George Carlin

15.

"Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results."Albert Einstein

16.

"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."Maya Angelou

17.

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."W.C. Fields

18.

"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito."Betty Reese

19.

"Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope."Dr. Seuss

20.

"Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people."Tamora Pierce

21.

"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."Oscar Levant

22.

"If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?"Albert Einstein

23.

"There are no traffic jams along the extra mile."Roger Staubach

24.

"Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes."Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

25.

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go."Dr. Seuss

26.

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."Winston S. Churchill

27.

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."Jerome K. Jerome

28.

"A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open."Frank Zappa

29.

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years." Mark Twain

30.

"I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies."Lemony Snicket

31.

"Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday."Dale Carnegie

32.

"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance".George Bernard Shaw

33.

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."Thomas Edison

34.

"Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor."Truman Capote

35.

You can complain about the direction of your life all you want, but until you sit in the driver's seat and begin to drive yourself, you aren't going to get where you want to go!Les Brown

36.

"I cannot afford to waste my time making money."Louis Agassiz

37.

"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already."Dave Barry

38.

"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."Franklin P. Jones

39.

"If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else."Yogi Berra

40.

"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous."Robert Benchley

41.

"Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one."Terry Pratchett

42.

"Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent."Langston Coleman

43.

"An old dog can learn new tricks. If your enthusiasm has lost its vitality, do everything possible to revive it."Don McArt

44.

"Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door."Kyle Chandler

45.

"I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."Benjamin Franklin

46.

"I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read on the train."Oscar Wilde

47.

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."Lemony Snicket

48.

"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful."Mae West

49.

"When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'"Sydney Harris

50.

"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs… one step at a time." Joe Girard

51.

"We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."George Bernard Shaw

52.

"Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."Will Rogers

53.

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."A.A. Milne (Winnie The Pooh)

54.

"You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself."Sam Levenson

55.

"Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese."Billie Burke

56.

"A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure."Unknown

57.

"The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for."Maureen Dowd

58.

"Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!"Dr. Seuss

59.

"The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm."Malcolm Forbes

60.

"The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits."Albert Einstein

61.

"Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right."Isaac Asimov

62.

"If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now."Marie Osmond

63.

"How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?"Anonymous

64.

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."Dalai Lama

65.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much".Mother Teresa

66.

"Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom."Terry Pratchett

67.

"The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake."Unknown

68.

"I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."Unknown

69.

"It's okay to look at the past and the future. Just don't stare."Lisa Lieberman-Wang

70.

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."Mark Twain

71.

"I have to be successful because I like expensive things."Lisa Lieberman-Wang

72.

"I have never developed indigestion from eating my words."Winston Churchill

Looking for more funny inspirational quotes? Check out these:

• Motivational Words: Speeches, Poems & Quotes That Inspire
• 22 Funny Positive Quotes That Will Improve Your Day
• 40 Funny Self Love Quotes
• How To Be Happy With What You Have – 24 Quotes To Encourage You

jacksonthinty1951.blogspot.com

Source: https://thegoalchaser.com/funny-inspirational-quotes-about-life/

Share this post